It’s that time of month again! The time when the WWE machine rolls on to pay per view, for their final show before the granddaddy of them all, Wrestlemania 32. This year sees a lot of mid-card feuds reach their natural culmination at the Fast Lane event, which is effectively built around one major match; that being the triple threat to determine the number one contender, who goes on to face The Game, Triple H, for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship at ‘Mania.
So, who’s going to win? Let’s have a look.
(C) Alberto Del Rio Vs Kalisto
For seemingly the 4,754th time, the two biggest Mexican names in the company go head to head for the formerly prestigious U.S Championship. I said during my Rumble predictions that the company would have made a good call by holding off on Kalisto’s victory until Wrestlemania, where the moment would have been perfect for a perennial good-guy victory. They didn’t; instead pulling the trigger at the Rumble, giving Kalisto the championship early (in my eyes), and now here we are. This match has a really big ‘who cares?’ feel to it, and feels like a blow-off as opposed to the start of something bigger. Kalisto to win, unless WWE decides to give it back to Del Rio, which would make absolutely zero sense at this point.
Who I would book to win? Kalisto.
Who will win? Kalisto.
AJ STYLES VS CHRIS JERICHO
If there’s one thing WWE has done right in 2016, it’s the treatment of A.J Styles. Considered by many one of the greatest pure ‘rasslers’ in the world, when he signed with the big E we all held our collective breaths. Would he be treated as the bona-fide star that he is, or would WWE pull another Colt Cabana and mishandle him horrendously? Fortunately for us, the Royal Rumble crowd took the decision out of their hands. His reaction at the Rumble was absolutely phenomenal, excuse the pun, and the E were left with no choice but to treat him like a big deal. Clearly WWE has something special on their hands, and with Bryan’s sad retirement, Styles could be the perfect guy to fill the void of ‘everyman hero.’ Expect this to be the greatest technical wrestling match of the evening, and for Styles to pick up the win he needs and deserves. Anything else would be, frankly, stupid…then again, this is the WWE (here’s looking at you, Reigns), so it could go either way.
Who I would book to win? – A.J Styles
Who I think will win? – A.J Styles
BECKY LYNCH AND SASHA BANKS VS TEAM BAD
Well, who saw this coming? After Lynch’s narrow loss to Charlotte via shennanigans at the Rumble, out came Banks, to an incredible reaction. She promptly dumped Lynch out of the ring, and seemingly challenged Charlotte to a championship match. Fast-forward a month, and somehow these two are a team facing Banks’ former stable, Team Bad. It’s all very confusing, and only the most naive of people out there would see this as anything other than ‘Bryan’s retirement caused them to give a sympathy title shot to his wife, Brie Bella, in order to cash in on the sentimentality. So we stuck all these girls together, because why not? ‘. Lynch and Banks will win here, I imagine, and head on to a triple threat match at ‘Mania with the champ.
Who I would book to win? – Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks
Who do I think will win? – Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks
THE WYATT FAMILY VS BIG SHOW, KANE AND RYBACK
‘We are war, we are pestilence, we are famine, and we are death.’ We are also stuck in a pointless feud with two has-beens and a never-will-be, while we kill time before the inevitable showdown with Lesnar. This will not only be the worst match of the evening, it’s also by far the most pointless. The Wyatts deserve better, and hopefully ‘Mania will deliver. For now, they should win this. If they don’t, WWE is in serious danger of ruining the mystique of their most unique and entertaining act.
Who I would book to win? The Wyatt Family
Who will win? The Wyatt Family
(C) Kevin Owens Vs Dolph Ziggler
As with Del Rio and Kalisto, this feels like a match we have seen hundreds of times over the last few weeks alone. So what’s different this time that warrants a Pay Per View appearance? Well, Owens is now the Intercontinental champion, I guess..so there’s that. Still, I can’t see Ziggler taking the title from Owens so soon after he won it back. I’d imagine this will be an entertaining match between two talented workers who know how to put on a fun show…but will be lacking in tension, as Owens will almost certainly win this.
Who I would book to win? Kevin Owens
Who I think will win? Kevin Owens.
DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
(C) Charlotte Vs Brie Bella
Now this is the times when WWE really pisses off their fanbase and insults their intelligence. Brie has been a non-factor in the Divas decision for months, and is, in all honesty, an awful wrestler. So why has she been suddenly rocketed into a championship match? Could it possibly be because her famous husband retired this month? I wouldn’t like to say. What I will say is Charlotte should win this. Brie is no D-Bry and she never will be. Unfortunately, talent cannot be sexually transmitted.
Who I would book to win? – Charlotte
Who I think will win? – Charlotte
NUMBER ONE CONTENDER’S TRIPLE THREAT MATCH
Brock Lesnar Vs Roman Reigns Vs Dean Ambrose
So the Roman Reigns experiment continues to flounder wildly, like a fish dumped out of water, so the WWE has a bright brain spark. Why not take the guy who we want to be the most popular guy in the company, despite the fans basically hating him, and stick him in a match with the two most popular guys in the entire company? That has to get him cheered, right? Now, I won’t insult your intelligence by pointing out what a stupid strategy that is, I’m sure you can figure that one out yourself. Unlike the WWE, apparently. The way they’ve booked this has also been rather weird and actually points towards an Ambrose victory. The way Ambrose and Lesnar have largely avoided Reigns in order to focus on each other has been interesting. My only fear is that it was done so the Reigns victory would be more ‘surprising’. Unfortunately, because of the last four months of booking Reigns Vs Triple H, that match would make the most sense for ‘Mania. Anything else would be odd, but better…definitely better. So who wins here? I’m gonna have to pick Reigns. I think The Wyatt’s will likely screw Brock, leaving Ambrose Vs Reigns. Reigns win. They fist bump. Reigns goes on to Mania to be boo’d on the grandest stage of them all.
Personally, I’d pick Brock, and flip the script. Something along the lines of ‘Triple H hated Reigns so much he put him up versus Lesnar knowing he couldn’t win, and then suddenly realises what he has done.’ The facial expression when Trips realises he’s facing the beast at ‘Mania, and that it’s his own damn fault, would be priceless. Can’t see it happening though.
Who I would book to win? – Brock Lesnar
Who will win? – Roman fucking Reigns.